The Devil Cow

Hope has always been a creepy cow, but her darkest side was revealed one bright spring morning when I was home alone. I had walked into the pasture to visit with the horses but as I approached them in the middle of the field, I head a distant pounding behind me.

I turned just in time to see Hope charging me full speed with her two sharp horns aimed right at my gut. So I FLEW. Straight for the distant fence, a good 300 feet away and desparately hoped I could outrun her. I made it to the fence but there was a problem. It was way too tall and made of close strands of barbed wire. Hope was two feet behind me and coming in for the kill so I ran down along the fence hoping for a better place.

There it was! An easily-climable gate another 100 feet away! I leapt on top of it and even before I landed on the other side, the devil cow’s horns were thrashing in the gate trying to finish her assassination of me.

Fear turned to utter bewilderment as I caught my breathe. What was Hope’s problem?!? I had bottle fed her as a calf and, although she hadn’t been as friendly as some of our other cows, she had never tried to murder me before.

My mom came home a few minutes later, and to prove my experience, I stuck just my hand into the pasture. Hope reverted to death machine mode and tried to skewer it.

Although I have never figured out why Hope has decided to my arch-enemy, we have worked out a truce: I give her at least 30 feet of space and malicious eye contact, and she won’t try to kill me as passionately.

Fun Fact! Given enough motivation, you CAN outrun a cow!

img_20160513_1715342142.jpg

Something better than one Weimaraner

All hail the king and queen

The main celebrity on my farm is my best friend and guard dog Jack. He is a large, black Weimaraner with a white star on his chest and both heart and eyes of gold. Everyone that comes to the farm passes his inspection, and if he says your shady, you’re not allowed to remain on our property. That’s because his goodness-o-meter is never wrong. But don’t worry, he has only barked away visitors twice in his life and they deserved it.

img_20170113_094036351-e1538461263154.jpg

 

Growing up, I thought that there couldn’t possibly be something better than one loyal Weimaraner, but it turns out that I was wrong. Last February, my dad was talking with one of his co-workers and discovered that they had both gotten black Weimaraner mixes from the pound around the same time 9 years ago. Further discussion revealed that the co-workers dog and Jack were, in fact, siblings.

Upon this realization, the co-worker shared that he had been hoping to give Lizzy, the other weim, a new home with more space for her to run since she  never enjoyed the cramped space of her city home.

Yes, this means that 9 years after their separation, there was the most emotional doggo reunion in history. It probably would have received a 14/10 from dog rates on Twitter. Really.

IMG_20180504_084356230
Their Royal Highnesses Jack and Lizzy

There was the excited first meet when Lizzy was dropped off at our home followed by a two month period of “ew, I have a sister?” on Jack’s end which then brings us to the present state of affairs consisting of the most adorable, blissful siblingship. Every day they nap in the grass, hunt ground squirrels, and ward off imaginary threats. All night they bark away the coyotes.

It turns out that there is something better than one Weimaraner, two Weimaraners to rule over their kingdom with their mutually gold eyes and gold hearts.

The Voyage Begins

Thanks for joining me! I will be telling both current and past stories about the animals in my life. I live on a farm with 5 cats, 2 dogs, 2 horses, 1 devil cow, and several hundred normal cows. The tractor also has a lot of horse power but it doesn’t count as an animal, although it’s name is Maude.  I truly hope you enjoy your time reading these.

“If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans.” -James Herriot

claudio-schwarz-734024-unsplash